I had a lot of preconceptions about pregnancy.
1) Morning sickness was a given.
2) Other than morning sickness, you felt constant joy at the life you were creating.
3) You start to ‘show’ a lot sooner than you (apparently) do.
4) You eat like a horse and nest like a falcon.
So far, only that last one has proven true.
I’m checking in today at 14 weeks pregnant to take stock of 3.5 months of changes. I’ve grown less than I thought I would; I’m
not really ‘showing’ yet. I don’t eat quite as much as I thought I would, but I still eat more than I have before. I’m a few weeks away from leaving my pre-preg jeans behind, but maxi dresses are soon to be my new best friend. I sleep a lot and nest a lot. I’m trying (and mostly succeeding) in enjoying this time were I can still bend over, see my toes, ties my own shoes, and twist at the waist.
But I can’t WAIT until I can feel my baby move. I also can’t wait to know if it’s a boy or a girl. Baby Changing Fruit (so named because every week, the pregnancy guides describe it by it’s relative size) did not cooperate for a recent ultrasound test to check for fetal abnormalities. We needed a side view, and BCF just lay there, staring at the screen, not turning. I find myself really hoping that when the time comes, we’ll be able to tell the gender to some degree of certainty. S/he will have to cooperate for that.
I feel sort of like I blinked and went from 4 weeks to 14. Every day has been both excruciatingly slow and fast, and suddenly I find myself here, within planning distance of the half-way mark. Um…wow. How did that happen? (Note: it is also surreal to find myself in 2012, but I think that would have been the case either way.)
Other changes: While the hormones can be intense, they push me to confront issues sooner. If I don’t, then I just explode in a fit of crying, which accomplishes about as much as you would expect it to. My center of gravity hasn’t shifted yet, so I can still dance, which is wonderful. I crave healthy foods- mostly. There’s been the random chocolate craving, but mostly it’s been veggies, salads, lean meats, water, and fruits. Pineapple, specifically.
Perhaps most significantly for me, my earlier anxieties about the baby have faded (Will it be healthy? Normal?), just like an experienced friend said they would. Whether I just wore out on worry after a month or so or it was just a phase, I don’t know. But they just…faded. Now I’m focused on other things, like nesting and finding a doula and nutrition.
Now, every time I see a baby, my heart turns over in my chest, but for a different reason than before. It used to be just because babies are cute. Now it’s because I’m going to have one. It’s an intense feeling to create a human and not yet know what that human is going to be like. I feel a bit like I’m cooking a blind date…that I’ll have to raise. It’s surreal.
That’s all for now. More pics and updates as they become available.