Really bad ideas and Life Lessons….just from today

ImagePart One:

I had a horrible idea this morning at around 5 am. I thought about becoming a ‘Mommy-blogger.’

It seemed like a great idea at the time. I thought to myself (by the dawn’s early light)- “Hey Self, you like to blog/write/genuflect. Why don’t you see if you could do it on BabyCenter.com or AlphaMom.com? How many Mommy-Bloggers are there?”

Actually, what I said to myself is “How many Mommy-Bloggers can there be?

Here’s a tip from experience: ANY QUESTION like “How many/much/whatever could it/they be?” is the entrepreneurial equivalent of “Hey, hold my beer and watch this!” It might end well for a very few people, and many more will have interesting stories come out of it, but most people should have had better friends who tried to talk them out of whatever ‘it’ was. Just saying.

I think you see where I’m going with this. I thought it was a great idea at 5 am. I might have just been subconsciously trying to distract myself. So I checked- at 5:15 am- and it turns out there are a quadrillion Mommy-Bloggers. Turns out Mommy-Blogging is just what first-world women do at a certain point in their lives, like bangs or knitting. We try it and crash in a spectacular ball of flames (or a years worth of bad pictures). Then, we forget and try again about two years later. It never ends quite like you picture it will.

So the Mommy-Blogger market is saturated. Got it. I really hate being redundant, and while I could try to find a niche, it turns out that the ‘Slighty-snarky-white-chick-blog’ niche is ALSO completely overdone. Who knew?

Lesson learned. When I have ideas at 5 am, I should just roll over and ignore them. I’m sure that will work. Yes, I have a firm grasp of irony.

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Part Two:

So I realized partway through my day today that Life was tossing several boulder-sized lessons my way. I just wanted to stop and take stock. Cause, you know, when you don’t pay attention to Life, it has a way of biting you on the ass.

Here are MY lessons for today. May they do you much good:

1.) Your ability to use words is inversely proportional to your proximity to a picture of Channing Tatum. I don’t know why, but it is. He is Womankind’s Kryptonite.

2.) If you smell poop, check yourself and check your baby.  It’s somewhere, and you’re racing the clock to find it. Really, it should be an easy search.

3.) Just because Taco Bell takes debit cards is no reason to stop carrying cash. It WILL be important for you to have it, usually when it is least convenient.

I’m sure there are other, more altruistic-themed lessons that Life threw my way today. For some reason these stick out. May my wisdom light you way.

Buh-bye Facebook.

I finally did it. I dropped Facebook like a bad habit.

!! No-Facebook-logoCause, for me, it had become a bad habit. I’d been thinking about quitting the juggernaut for months, but my addiction was so strong that it took an enormous amount of will to get to the point where I could cut myself off. Actually, that’s lie- it took hitting a wall. I’d spend too much time checking out the pics from friends who are traveling/dancing/going out/getting sleep and everything about their lives seemed exciting. All I came to be able to see was the riotous, exotic fun that everyone else seemed to be having while I tried to enforce nap times. I looked up and realized that Facebook had become just a pseudo-connection to the outside world that only served to make me dissatisfied with my life.

See, I’m currently a SAHM (Stay-At-Home-Mom), so I get very little time each day to do anything for myself. Very. Little. Time. What I am able to do needs to be helpful, restorative and involve interaction with other adult humans. Actual humans, not the posed, idealized versions of their own lives that Facebook has come to be. I finally realized that Facebook has reached a point for me where it was truly mentally unhealthy. So I’m out. Maybe forever. Maybe for a little while. We’ll see.

!!! Be your own heroIn the meantime, if you want updates, come here to my blog. It will still be one of my creative outlets.

Disclaimer: Being a mom is definitely fun/important/fulfilling/a blessing, but anyone who says it’s totally fulfilling is a lying liar who lies. They don’t call Pinot Noir “Mommy Juice” for nothing.