That’s What She Said | Wisdom on YouTube

I spend a fair bit of professional time on YouTube, tweaking channels for my company. I control almost 20 YouTube Channels. Oh, yea, I spend a lot of time on YouTube.

So when I find something A.W.E.S.O.M.E., I pass that medicine on. We all need more of it.

Here’s one about healing conversations that we need to have more of:

Women Talking About Aging and Death in Modern Culture

See, there’s a lot of shit on YouTube, but as people are looking for more light in the world, stuff like this pops up, proving that everything in this life, even technology, is exactly what you make it, what you choose to focus on.

I forget that dozens of times a day and give in to the clawing, shrieking voices of Not Enough. It is so hard to ignore those voices.

I don’t know any women who don’t need this space to be, to talk, to listen and to hear. I don’t know any women who don’t need a bit more compassion in their lives, towards themselves. I don’t know any women who don’t do battle every day with a culture that tells them their worth is always conditional on their ability to please others. It’s draining and terrifying and damaging, and THAT is why things like this- spaces like this, messages like this- are so vital to a part of us that is just as important as brain, blood and stomach.

So this is my attempt to put something out into the world that will be a light. If you like it, pass it on. There’s more to come.

Chilly Bones and Milestones

Polar Vortex

I would never have seen Polar Vortex, Part Deux coming if it hadn’t been for a friend in New Yawk, telling me last night about the six inches of snow they got yesterday. I maintain that living in the north changes your DNA more completely than a bad sci-fi movie. I don’t even think Northerners are completely human anymore….but they’re surviving the Polar Vortices, which is more than I can say for me.  But anyway, thanks for the heads up Kat!

I’m now going to hide indoors until spring. I’m a delicate little thing.

Oh, wait- I’m not. I just survived a plane trip with a toddler. Kudos goes to my Better Half, who displays both more calm and a G-rated mouth when faced with two+ hours of semi-tantrums by a pants-less heathen. (long, slow clap) Your karma is restocked for years. Mine, on the other hand….let’s just say I think I’m running low on points with the Universe.

There’s a Reason We Count It In Months…

Eva on January 1st 2014

Speaking of my offspring:  She’s 18 months old today. We’ve survived (and kept her alive) for 18 months, in good health and apparently quite happy. Many, many thanks to the grandparents who helped make this possible. We celebrated this morning with a 5 am start time to read books, rearrange pots in the kitchen, and studying the mysteries of the Keurig machine. Then it was time for vocal exercises and running the length of the room. Everyone has their morning routine. No matter how tired I am, it’s pretty adorable. We made that.

How are we going to celebrate this milestone? I’m not sure yet, but my camera and some bourbon will be involved, not in that order. For all the people who wonder why new parents count age by months (up until about 2 years old)….imagine going completely through puberty, a process that normally takes 15 years or so from start to semi-finish, in two years. Think about it. Thaaaaat’s it. Yea, that’s why we do it. It’s also an AA trick- you take it one day at a time to survive, with the hope that it will get easier and the slight fear that it never will. Suzy-Sunshine I am not.

This Blog

Soooooo…….this blog. This blog has almost no direction anymore, other than serving as an update board for my Munchkin and whatever musings strike me as I’m able to type them. The more I get into writing, the more I want there to be some direction. I’m trying to write an Ebook (yes, still on that kick) and I’m millimeters away from deciding to go completely vegetarian. I’m also working a very interesting job and am not lacking on things I think about. So, there’s material there.

My promise to you, dear reader, is that I’m going to try to put this blog on a track of some kind. Not like a topic specific track (foodie blogs, mom blogs, travel blogs, fashion blogs- all completely covered), but something more cohesive than this. I run deep, and this blog has gotten shallow.

But today, I shall end on a light note- My gorgeous silver hairs are starting to streak down my head. Little hints here and there of the process of Life continuing its course. I’ve earned them. They’re mine and they signify a life long enough and healthy enough to have hair and see it change with the seasons. So I leave you with this thought:wisdom highlights

Found Something Cool

Ask anyone in my family- when I find something cool or funny or touching (usually on the computer), I immediately drag people I value over to see it, in the hopes that they’ll get as much enjoyment out of it as I do. It’s my attempt to show love.

Sooooooo, I’ve written before about an absolutely inspirational spoken-word poet out of NYC named Sarah Kay. She has a fantastic TED talk on YouTube with her performing her poem If I Should Have A Daughter:

Last night I found out that Sarah and her partner in Project V.O.I.C.E. (coincidentally named Phil Kaye- no relation and they’re not dating/married) have a poem called When Love Arrives. It is a verbal medicine that washes over you. See for yourself:

That made my soul sigh with happiness. Then I found this:

Now THAT sort of insight is just my type of therapy. I became an instant fan of spoken word poetry last night- not just Sarah Kay, but of all of it. Sarah and Phil both have some amazing stand-alone poems that I highly, highly, highly recommend you take a few moments to listen to. They’re healing in that way that stories are healing.

And can’t we all use a little of that?

Jump Starting

Roughly 6 monthly of working a sedentary job has done something to me. It’s made me soft, in all the wrong ways. No, I’m not rolling out of my pants or anything, but I’ve lost all tone and stamina that I worked so hard to build up after my baby.

I know, I know, First World Problems.

Just FYI, I don’t take having enough food and a job where I don’t risk (obvious) death for granted. I’m very grateful to be where I am in life…mostly. 

But not being physically fit affects my mood and my ability to be as active as I want to be in this one wild and precious life. So, I need to get off my ass more. But what to do? I barely have time to shower more than once per week (which I only make the effort to do at this point because society frowns on smelling like a stale burrito), let alone go to a gym to work out.

This morning, my ipad informed me of something Awesome….

(straight up unpaid endorsement ahead)

Hulu told me about it. And I’m going to share my deal with all of you, cause I got me a 30 day trial for FREE!!!!!!!! (I’m excited by free. A lot.)

if you type in, you get a free 30 day trial. After that, it’s $10 per month. That. Is. Awesome. $10/mo to exercise anywhere I have my computer or iPad? $10/mo to have a highly customized workout program? $10/mo to work out anytime, anywhere?

Yes please, to everything.

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 8.14.00 AM

I got to set up a plan based on:

  • how much weight I want to lose
  • if I want to work on getting lean or ripped
  • if I want to workout with a ‘friendly’ trainer or a drill sergeant
  • if I want to use kettlebells, yoga, cardio, etc.
  • length of time I have to workout (an hour? 30 minutes?)
  • there was more, but I forget cause I was so excited this was real that I choked on some coffee and chocolate covered pretzels. I have left-over Christmas food. Don’t judge me.

Screen Shot 2014-01-09 at 8.14.19 AMSo there it is. I’m so excited about this that I’m giving it a full on, blog post endorsement. I WILL NOT be giving weekly updates on how this is going in great detail. I might mention it in passing, but this obviously isn’t a fitness blog, so there. If you try it, please let me know what you think. Otherwise, I’m off to seize the day.

And by day, I mean coffee.


My entire world somehow shifted, and I noticed it….but I didn’t realize it. I know, it doesn’t make much sense to me either.

Last week was the annual Lindy Hop dance camp known as Lindy Focus. For the easily-overstimulated, introverted, sleep-deprived woman I’ve become, it’s just…not fun anymore. And after three years of trying to enjoy myself here, I finally realized it. Not just noticed, but realized. Strange.

ride the waveSee, three years ago at this time, I was cooking a wee bun in my metaphorical oven. I was about 11 weeks along, tired all the time (ha!) and having to be careful with what I ate and how much I slept. That was the beginning of the end for me, as far as carefree fun goes. Since then, I’ve come back and tried to have fun, but last year and this year have just been lacking something (a sense of humor? flexibility?), and I can’t deny it to myself anymore.

I don’t like this. Dancing just doesn’t do it for me right now.

Why does this give me vertigo? Because for a long (and crucial) period of my life, dancing was part of my identity. It made me happy. It gave me friends and a social life that I once enjoyed. Maybe I wasn’t the best dancer, but I identified primarily as a swing dancer. It gave me reliable joy. And now I don’t have that. So I’m sort of lost. I’m the type of person that needs an outlet for my way of expressing joy and being in the world. It helps me focus and clarify things. Now I’ve got to find something new, and I’m not sure how best to go about it. Sure, I could try to cling to dance a bit longer, but my instincts are pretty loud on this one…it would be futile.

So I’m left with a void to fill and a lot of friends that I’m worried I’ll lose the ability to connect to. I’m not good at small talk in the best of circumstances. Without casual dance chat (how bout that rock-step, eh? …see, I told you.), I’m not sure what I’ll talk about. For a socially awkward/introverted person to lose that one thing that had finally become easy(ish) for her, this is a bit devastating.

Ah, well. I guess change is good. There’s a t-shirt somewhere that says that, right?