The 2-Day Arden’s Detox

Right off the bat, I’ll say that I’ve not eaten solid food in over a day and a half, so mentally I’m not really driving the bus, so much as I’m sitting with the key in the ignition, staring at the wheel and wondering where I was supposed to be going.

Maybe I shouldn’t drive today.

Arden's DetoxI’m sliding to the end of the 2-Day Arden’s Garden Detox. It’s a 2 day, juice-only cleanse that helps the body release toxins and allows certain organs to rest from the onslaught of sugar, dairy, processed stuff, wheat, and other junk that passes for modern food. If you can’t hear your kidneys screaming for help, you probably need this. I had recently reached a point where my entire torso felt stiff with misuse and less-than-stellar-food-choices. I felt sluggish and tired and grouchy. And I could feel my body craving crap food, like a spoiled child who had to have cake- now!

So off to Whole Foods for the two one-gallon jugs and a sulky promise to myself that if I’m forking over roughly $30 for liquids, it’s going to be to better myself as a person, damnitall. No cheating, not even celery.

I do this exercise in masochism every few years, and always start to question why about three hours after I start. The Why is that your (my?) body feels so GOOD afterwards that it’s amazing. It really, truly is. You feel light, more alert, calmer, and not really hungry (by the end). Hell, your blood feels cleaner afterwards. Do you know what clean blood feels like? It feels amazing.

Usually, however, it’s very, very hard. I work within 30 feet of my kitchen. There’s food in there, and my body doesn’t get why we’re not going in there to get some. Each time I’ve done it in the past, it’s been a difficult mental battle from hour 2 all the way to the end, and I hate the process.

Not this time though. This time has been…easy. I can’t believe I’m saying that, since last time I did this I would have done many illegal things just for a bite of bread by day two. But this time, it’s easy. I feel cleaner, not hungry, cold, and I already have more energy. I’m so pleased with myself that I’ve been able to stick with it that it’s been an overall positive experience.

I think that just underscores how badly I needed to push myself outside my comfort zone. Now if only I could work up the desire to exercise (she says, wearing full yoga gear, as if she’s going to the gym).

Where was I supposed to be going? Mabye I shouldn’t drive today.